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    August 21

    我是一个倒霉蛋

         当别人还在信仰爱情的时候,我已不确定自己还相信些什么。尽管脖子上挂着十字架,可别人突然问到是否是一名基督徒,我会想不起自己真正信仰的那个派别的名字。就是这样,每每事事关己,可我却被动的选择糊涂或是忘记,怎样都回忆不起来。等到想起,又为时过晚。这是题外话。
          饥肠辘辘、浑身酸软,初秋的夜风明明清爽,却冻彻身骨。一个人,精疲力竭,走在两个人的路上,以往的落寞,再不温习就要变得陌生。楼宇间的爱情歌曲,伴随着汽车鸣笛,可以在公路上四处回响。不住地四处打量,发现车站昏暗的角落里竟站着一个中年妇女,好希望,她是我妈妈,她能带我回家,哪怕只是跟我说说话。太多时候,自己羡慕孩子及童年,大概不是因为他们那里随时随地都洋溢欢笑,而是可以突然间的莫名哭泣,甚至是悲伤,无所顾忌,无所畏惧。然而现在,我们仍旧保留那样的能力,却在不知不觉中放弃了那样的权利。
          我是个彻头彻尾的倒霉蛋,这是一个公理,不用证明。曾几何时,我想要的是一双蓝色运动鞋,他却执意要我买了粉色款,他说:“女孩子穿粉色显得贵气~!”我从没穿过粉色,但是对于他的话,却一直都是莫名其妙的深信不疑。然而时间,日复一日的过去了,我的贵气,和那双鞋的下场一样,因为种种原因,还在角落里。我对车窗上被拉长的自己说:“没关系,我从不计较也并不着急,选择这条路,倾其所有,却一直甘之如饴。只因你。”
          等到十一,我的手机就满2周岁,只比那份感情小几天。他们在渐渐老去,然而却还都如我一如既往所期待的那样,可以在一片寂静的黑夜里,闪闪发亮。不同的是,思念已如水银泻地般散落各处的时候,你,怕是早已静静睡去。

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